


Half Hope

by Softlight



Series: Pierce My Soul [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, Sexy Times, anxiety attack, but not necessary to read!, i just think they're sweeter together, the companion to "Half Agony"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-19 00:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22635706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Softlight/pseuds/Softlight
Summary: Blake is seventeen, and she’s alone.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Series: Pierce My Soul [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626085
Comments: 7
Kudos: 167





	Half Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to probably the sweetest and most romantic thing I've ever written!

Blake is seventeen, and she’s alone. She watches her new peers as they approach Beacon, all eager and so young. She feels ancient in her bones, like she’s lived a whole lifetime already. It’s distancing, but she has her books, and life could be worse. Life could be so much worse than being alone.

She ignores the way her heart stops when she sees Weiss Schnee, already yelling at some poor girl and acting like she’s better than all of them. Her voice doesn’t shake when she speaks, but her hands ache to curl into fists. She’s proud of herself for defending that girl, but she slips off before she has to make small talk. Blake is here not to make friends, she’s here to atone for her sins.

But maybe the universe is making her pay by giving her the most extroverted person as a partner it could manage. Yang Xiao Long, with her fire bright hair and fierier temper and glowing personality, is not going to stand for quiet teamwork. No, she’s going to want to braid her hair and talk about boys and grab coffee. Blake can’t say she’s revolted at the idea, but guilt squirms in her gut when Yang looks at her and smiles. She doesn’t deserve her kindness, but she can be the best partner she can be, and hopefully that will be enough.

She’s shocked at how young Ruby is. She can’t remember being that young, doesn’t want to, but Ruby just takes the world in stride and faces it with a smile. She’s a beacon of light, her leader, and she’s inclined to go along with her crazier plans if only to keep her smiling and happy. Fifteen was when everything started to go wrong, and she can’t let that happen for Ruby. Despite everything her leader has gone through, the cruelness the world has inflicted on her, she still smiles. It almost gives her hope for herself.

Blake has to take deep breaths around Weiss. She has a soft interior, she can see it, but it’s still sometimes hard to see past all that Schnee built into her armor. His voice badgers her to take revenge, to make Weiss pay for her family’s crimes, but she doesn’t want to, and the guilt in her stomach only coils tighter. It’s almost a relief when Weiss finally learns that she was in the White Fang, but she surprises her. Weiss forgives her without condition, and it’s easier to separate her from her family after that.

She doesn’t talk about it much, but Weiss’s family life is obviously horrible. Blake already knew what a piece of trash her father was, but to learn of what he does to his own family makes her want to protect her teammate. Weiss doesn’t need protecting, but Blake makes sure to always listen when she needs to talk. She can only do so much, but she can be there for her teammate.

Yang is her partner, and fighting alongside her is as easy as breathing, as natural as her heart beating. Despite the differences in their styles, they mesh together well, and Ruby never fails to pair them up in training and battle. They bring out the best in each other, in ways more than one.

It’s Yang who stops her when she goes too far. It’s Yang who doesn’t tell her to stop but to slow down. It’s Yang who wants her to take care of herself. Yang is always there, ready to support her. It’s almost unnerving to have such unconditional support, but she tries her best to give it back to her partner. She’s not used to working like this, but she’s trying.

She dresses up for the dance for Yang, she goes for Yang. Even when she’s dancing with Sun, her eyes are on Yang, and she can’t figure out why. Her heart skips a beat when they brush together when they’re dancing, and seeing her partner smile makes her feel like she’s on fire, like she’s a star burning bright. This is friendship. This is unconditional support. She tries out different phrases, but none of them quite fit. What they have isn’t what she has with Weiss or Ruby, it’s more intimate. She loves all her teammates, but Yang is who she goes to, who she trusted first.

She wants to tell her team about Adam, but every time the words go to leave her mouth, her throat closes up. She doesn’t know how to tell them, what to tell them. She doesn’t even know what to call him, nevermind what he did to her. She wants to reciprocate Yang’s vulnerability with telling her about her mom, wants to show that she trusts her. But trusting Yang isn’t the problem, trusting herself is.

But slowly, his voice loosens its grasp on her. She stops hearing him when she looks at Weiss, when she trains, when she sleeps. He still haunts her nightmares, but they’ve become more and more infrequent. For the first time in a long time, she feels safe. Even when they’re surrounded by Grimm, she trusts her team to have her back and values the trust they place in her in return.

Of course, it couldn’t last.

* * *

Blake is still seventeen, and Yang is bleeding in her arms. She’s running, desperately searching for safety. The guilt in her belly is growing, wielding its ugly head and slithering up and down, licking at her wounds and poisoning them. She can’t think about how Adam was ready to kill her. She can’t think about how it’s her fault that Yang got hurt. She can’t think at all. All she can do is run.

Somehow, some way, she manages to find medics, and they lay Yang on the ground. All she can do is watch as they work on her, sobbing. They tell her she’ll live, and she saved her life by getting her to them so quickly, Yang almost lost too much blood, but their words are drowned out in her head by the pounding of guilt in her brain. All she can think about is how she wasn’t fast enough, how she failed to protect her teammate.

She failed.

When they’re done, she curls around Yang’s body on the ground, holding her hand. Her only hand, thanks to Blake. All she can do is whimper her apologies. Weiss finds them like that, and then she’s crying too, and oh, she’s going to have to face Ruby, going to have to tell her how she failed, she failed her team, and it’s all her fault. Adam wouldn’t have hurt Yang if it hadn’t been for her.

They take Yang away, somewhere she can’t follow, to further treat the wound. She’s left alone. She should be alone, she deserves to be alone. All she brings is pain and suffering, and she needs to get away from them before they get hurt worse. If she runs, she can protect them better than if she was there. He won’t bother them if she’s not with them.

Running is the hardest decision of her life. Leaving Yang, leaving Weiss, leaving Ruby is the hardest moment of her life. Every inch of her aches to stay with her team, protect them. But she can’t protect them, and she won’t let them suffer for her mistakes. She can’t hurt them any more if she leaves.

So she runs.

 _It’s all you’re good at, after all_ , his voice coos in her mind, and she throws a hand over her mouth, steadying herself. He’s not real, he’s not there.

But he is real, and he’s going to come hunting for her. She won’t lead him to her team, she’ll never make that mistake again.

She was an idiot to think that he would stop searching for her, that he would stop caring. He’s passionate and spiteful, and she spat in his face by leaving. She was a fool to even dream that he wouldn’t make her pay, wouldn’t make her loved ones pay. And she loves her team. He’d torture them to get to her.

Blake wants to stop running, wants to go back, but she can’t.

She’s seventeen, and she’s alone again. It’s what she deserves, after all.

* * *

She’s eighteen, and finding Yang at Haven takes the breath out of her lungs. Every inch of her is screaming to run to her, to make sure she’s real. She sees the new arm, and the guilt is back, biting her, but she looks good. She looks like Yang, but subdued, calmer. She looks grown up, and her heart crumples at the sight.

But she’s fighting with them again, and, for a moment, it feels like nothing has changed. Hearing Ruby yell, “Checkmate!” makes her grin. She trusts her to not fail them in battle, and that’s enough. They don’t completely hate her, and even if she doesn’t understand what the relic is or why they’re fighting over it, they trust her to fight with them. They still trust her.

Yang’s eyes flash to her as she rises on the platform, and it makes her want to run again. Fear coils around her spine, but she stands firm. She needs to. Blake needs to see her, talk to her. She owes her team so much, and she may not know where to start but she knows the road is in front of her, if they’ll let her travel it.

Walking towards her team is terrifying, each step filling her with fear, but she holds herself still. Watching them fall together into a hug is like a knife in her gut, but she understands. She’s not part of them anymore, she ran.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” she says weakly, but she means it. If they’ll have her, she’ll stay by their sides. She doesn’t deserve them, but she wants to.

“That’s all that matters. That we’re all here together. Right?” Ruby looks to Yang, and Blake knows Yang can never forgive her for leaving. How could she? She doesn’t deserve her forgiveness.

Yang studies her, and nods. “Yeah.”

She smiles and almost sobs.

Hugging them makes her feel real again. She had felt like a ghost without them, and being back together with all them makes her feel whole again. Their arms are tight around her, and she holds them even tighter. She’s home.

“I’m so sorry,” she says when they break apart. “I’m so sorry-”

“Later,” Weiss says sharply, but her eyes are soft. “We have a lot to explain, too.”

Blake swallows thickly. She’s going to have to earn their forgiveness, earn them back, but they’re worth it. She can’t protect them if she’s not there, she knows that now. They’re her team, and they work best that way.

* * *

They don’t ask why she ran, and she wants to explain, but Weiss stops her. “You’re here now. That’s what matters.” She nods, but she can’t stop looking at Yang, and she wants to tell her that she didn’t leave her, she left for their safety, as misguided as she was. She wants her to know she didn’t abandon her, but she did. She can’t change her actions, but she can try to make up for it.

She’s trying too hard, she’s failing at letting things go back to normal. Yang shrugs it off, but it hurts, and she wants it so much, too much, and she’s blocking herself. She can’t help herself. She owes them all so much, especially Yang.

Yang, whose eyes are still so bright. Yang, who’s still standing. Yang.

Blake is slowly starting to understand why Adam was so angry, what he saw in her face during the Fall of Beacon, but she refuses to give it a minute’s consideration. Their friendship is paramount, and she barely deserves that.

But she can’t help the way her eyes follow her, the way she turns to see if she’s laughing when someone tells a joke, the way her blood feels warm when she smiles. Her heart skips a beat when Yang looks at her, and she can’t help it. She’s not sure she wants to.

Fighting alongside Yang still feels natural, and it’s only when they’re in battle that things feel truly normal again. She trusts Yang implicitly, and Yang still trusts her to have her back, and that says more than the awkwardness. It will take time for things to be as they once were, for them to be as easy, but she watches her in battle and knows that they’re not ruined. Not yet.

* * *

Blake is eighteen, and she’s a killer.

Yang is talking to her, her voice low, but she can’t hear her over the rush of blood. Tears start pouring faster, and she’s hiccuping, and all she can do is repeat her promise.

“I swear, I swear, I swear, Yang, please believe me,” she shakes, curling into Yang’s body. She’s so warm, and she’s solid, and she’s there, and she cares.

She cares.

“I know, I know, shh, it’s okay,” Yang says, running her fingers through her hair and down her back. “I believe you, I believe you.”

But she’s possessed, and she can’t stop saying it. The words are flying out of her mouth out of her control, and she wants to shut her mouth but she can’t, and the only time the words stop is when she shudders. Her face is hot with tears, but Yang is holding her tight, and she’s present.

“Deep breaths, Blake,” she instructs.

Blake closes her eyes and tries, but they’re shuddering breaths. “Keep trying, keep breathing.” She listens, curling her hands into fists in Yang’s hair as she does. “Good job, you’re doing great.”

They stay like that until Blake’s breath is almost normal, until her heart isn’t beating out of her chest and she can control her mouth again. “Thank you,” she sniffles. “Thank you.”

She feels Yang smile. “I’m not leaving you either. I promise.”

She doesn’t push her to move, she lets Blake slowly release her grasp on her hair and move in her own time. She doesn’t tell her they have to run, even if it’s pounding in her own head. She simply lets Blake be, and she supports her as she does. She’s basically holding her up, and she has to be exhausted, but she’s still there and solid and warm.

Yang pulls her head back, pressing her forehead to Blake’s as she wipes her tears away with her thumb, the metal cool to the heat of her skin. “You’re okay. We’re both okay.”

Blake feels herself nod. Yang’s eyes are staring dead into her own, and she blushes even as she shakes. “We’re both okay,” Blake repeats, squeezing Yang’s free hand. Yang’s eyes are also filled with tears, and there are streaks on her cheeks. Blake wipes her cheeks clean as gently as she can before cleaning her own face. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Yang hesitates as she begins to rise, but Blake rises with her. “I’m here for you, Blake. I promise.”

“We protect each other, after all.” She smiles weakly, but it’s real.

Yang reaches down and holds her hand, squeezing gently. They lean on each other as they walk back, hands never breaking connection.

* * *

She’s sitting on the ship, and everyone is crowded around the front and looking at the view of Atlas, and she’s as alone as she can get when Yang plops down right beside her. She watches as Yang silently reaches for her hand, but she continues staring straight ahead, refusing to meet her gaze.

“How’re you doing?” she asks, soft enough for even Blake to strain to hear her.

“I’m doing okay. How are you doing?”

Yang scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Don’t put this back on me,” she says, but her voice is light. “I don’t think I’m gonna sleep well tonight, but it could also be the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out.” She squeezes Blake’s hand, leaning back. “How are you actually doing?”

Blake sighs. “I don’t really feel anything right now. Just tired.”

Yang nods. “That’s understandable.”

Her hand is starting to get sweaty, and she doesn’t want Yang to get grossed out, so she moves to pull her hand away, but Yang just holds her hand tighter and puts their hands on her thigh. Blake stiffens, cheeks flushing.

“Why did you run, Blake?” she asks, still staring straight ahead. “Back at Beacon.”

She relaxes her jaw, losing a breath. Blake stares at their joined hands. Yang deserves the truth. “I didn’t want you to suffer for my actions. It was my fight, my fault, and you got hurt and if I hadn’t-” She breaks off. “It was my fault. And I didn’t want any of you getting hurt because of me.” Yang didn’t move. “But I realized I can’t support you if I’m not here, and I missed you all so much, but I just felt so guilty, I-.”

She pauses, watching Yang. Her chest is rising, slow and steady, but she is still staring dead ahead.

“It wasn’t your fault, Blake.” Yang’s voice is certain and sure, but Blake feels her hand begin to shake. “I’ve thought about this a lot, it’s all I did for months, actually. And I never blamed you for losing my arm. That’s on him. Not on you. His actions are not your fault.” She clears her throat, looking down at their hands. “I was angry because you left. I thought you didn’t care.”

“Yang-”

“And I know you did, and you do, but it felt like you didn’t, and that broke my heart.” Yang wipes at her eyes with her free hand. “It wasn’t your fault, Blake. And I understand why you left. I just wish you hadn’t.”

“I won’t leave again, I promise-”

“I know. And I believe you, and I trust you. I trust you.” She hesitates, curling her fingers deep into Blake’s hand.

“I’m not going to leave you. Ever.” Blake jostles Yang lightly. “Unless you want me to. And even then, I might not.” Yang laughs, and it’s shaky but it’s beautiful.

“Good.” Yang leans her head down onto Blake’s, sighing. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Her heart is pounding out of her chest. Their fingers are still laced together, and she can hear Yang’s heart beat, and it’s just as fast as her own. She snuggles closer into Yang, laying her head on top of hers.

“I was terrified you hated me,” Blake says.

“For a while, I think I did. I was so angry you left.” Her fingers tighten around Blake’s hand. “You’re not my mom, but I just couldn’t help but thinking what was wrong with me to make everyone I care about want to leave me.” Yang’s voice cracks.

“There is nothing wrong with you,” she tries, but she knows it’s not enough, doesn’t tell her what she needs her to know. “I don’t know why your mom left, but it was not you. I am lucky to have you in my life, we all are.”

“She left me down there,” she says, voice soft. Blake freezes. “She was down in the chamber when I got there. She was going to take the relic, but she left instead. She left me, again.” Yang wipes at her eyes. “I don’t know why I thought she would do anything different.”

Blake stays quiet.

“She killed the last Spring Maiden.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. “My mom is the Spring Maiden, and I can’t tell anyone, because even though she’s left me, betrayed me, she’s still my mom. I can’t do that to her. She _apologized_ to me.” She scoffs, wiping at her face. “She let me have the relic, knowing Salem will come after me. She apologized, and then she ran. What kind of person, what kind of mother does that?”

“The kind of mother that doesn’t deserve her daughter.” Her voice is stronger than she planned, but she means it. “You are better than her, Yang. And you deserve better than her.”

“I know, but she’s the only mom I have left.” Yang’s lids flutter shut. “I don’t know what to do.”

Blake squeezes her hand. “You don’t have to do anything.” She twists towards Yang, looking her in the eyes. “No one needs to know about your mom right now. She is a problem for another day. We can go after her, or you don’t have to ever see her again. Either way, it’s your choice.”

Yang looks down. “You won’t tell anyone?”

“It’s not mine to tell.” She brushes her forehead against Yang’s, close enough that their faces are breaths apart. “Whatever you choose, I’ll be there for you.”

Yang throws her arms around her, chest shuddering. Blake holds her tight and closes her eyes. She gently runs her fingers through Yang’s hair, quietly humming as Yang shakes. “I’m here for you.”

* * *

She’s nineteen, and Yang is kicking her ass.

Blake draws back, fists up and chest heaving. Yang smirks, beckoning her forward. “That can’t be all you got,” she teases, hands on her hips.

“Not even close.” She inclines her head, jutting her chin out. Yang shrugs, resuming her fighting position.

“Good.”

And they’re off again. She dodges, ducks, and turns away. Yang’s brows are furrowed together, and, despite herself, she grins as her partner struggles to land a hit on her. She’s fast, and Yang’s smart. Their training sessions are always interesting. But Yang has the advantage in hand-to-hand, and Blake’s dripping with sweat.

“You could go on offensive sometimes, you know,” Yang says.

“Fine.” She takes Yang’s extended arm from her punch, turns and flips Yang onto the ground, kneeling beside her. “That offensive enough for you?” Yang flashes her teeth, and suddenly she’s on top of her. Blake’s staring into her eyes, and Yang’s hair is falling onto either side of her face, and it smells sweet, and her breath catches in her throat.

“Maybe stick to defensive,” she teases. Blake rolls her eyes, but accepts Yang’s hand to help her up.

“You won that round.”

“Yeah, but only because I got you on the ground, and that was only because you decided to take the bait.” She bumps into Blake with a smile. “I’m surprised you fell for it.”

She shrugs. “Wanted to see how it felt.” Blake drapes her towel around her neck, taking a swig of her water. “Lunch?”

“Shower, then lunch.” Yang wrinkles her nose. “No offense, but we both reek.”

“You’re worse than me!” She shrieks as Yang squirts water at her. “Hey!”

“There’s your shower,” Yang smirks.

Blake raises her eyebrow, taking another sip of water. “You’re a child.”

“Yup,” she pops, walking beside Blake.

Their hands bump into one another, and Blake blushes. “Sorry,” they say in unison, and her blush deepens. Yang’s cheeks are also flushed, and she can’t tell if it’s from their spar or not. She clears her throat, looking down.

Yang quietly reaches for her hand again, wrapping her fingers around Blake’s palm. She smiles and swings their hands back and forth, and Blake grins as they walk, their hands between them.

“Now we’re both children,” Yang says, and Blake nods.

“I suppose we are,” she cedes.

They don’t release each other until they’re back to their accommodations.

* * *

They’re eating lunch one day, just the two of them. Yang is picking at her food, a furrow in her brow. Blake sighs, putting her fork down. Tuna can wait.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, gently tapping Yang’s ankle with her foot. Yang startles out of her reverie and smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Nothing,” she tries.

“Yeah, try again.”

Yang sighs, leaning back in her chair. “What would you do if you had a secret and it would change someone’s relationship with you if you told them?” Blake’s ears flick, catching on Yang’s steadily increasing heartbeat.

“Depends on the secret, I guess,” she says lightly. “Is this about Qrow and your mom?”

Yang purses her lips, then shakes her head. “No.”

“Well, still, it depends. What are you scared of if you tell them?” she asks. If Yang is being vague, then she won’t push her. She doesn’t have to know everything about her partner. Even if she wants to.

Yang stretches upwards, and Blake’s mouth goes dry at the motion. “I don’t know. Like, it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it also kind of is, and I just have no idea how they’d react. It could change everything, or nothing, and I really like my friendship with them, but I don’t feel good keeping it from them either, you know?”

Blake nods and shifts in her seat. “Would the change be for the better?”

“That’s just the thing!” Yang sits up straighter, eyes alight. “It could! It very much could be for the better, but it could also be for the worse, but also nothing could change.”

“Then do it. Tell them.” Yang cocks her head. “I mean, you just said it could be for the better. And it would be easier on you if you tell them, so that’s already a pro for telling them. And if it’s, say, a 50/50 chance of things going better or worse, that tips the scales for doing it.”

“Okay. Okay.” Yang nods her head, and then she’s staring at her. “Blake, I-” She hesitates, then smiles. “Thanks. That really helped.” She puts her napkin on her plate. “Sorry to jet, but I have to run. I promised Ruby I would help her grab something before training tonight.”

“Okay! Glad I helped.” She smiles and watches her go, heart in her throat.

Yang doesn’t have to trust her with everything, she reminds herself as she stabs at her fish. They can be their own separate people and still be partners. And she still came to her for help, so that speaks volumes!

Still, her reassurances fall flat. She can’t help but want more, more of Yang. She’s addicting, and for every little piece she consumes, she wants more. It’s definitely not healthy, not to mention being her friend while she thinks about her all the time is driving her crazy. But Blake just wants to make her happy, and that means more to her than whatever she wants.

* * *

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Yang slides into the seat across from her, shifting. Blake watches as she places her hands in front of her, holding her hand herself. There’s a table between them. Her own hands twitches and wants to reach out and grab Yang’s hand, but she stills herself.

“Penny asleep?” she asks, sipping her tea.

Yang nods. “Yeah. Ruby finally convinced her to go to bed.”

“Good. She needs the rest.”

Yang shifts again. “Blake.”

“Yang.” She raises her eyebrows and smiles. “What’s up?”

Her mouth opens, only to screw shut again. Her eyes slide from Blake’s face down to her hands, still clutching each other. “I need to say something, and I need you to not say anything while I say it.”

“Okay?” she says. “What’s up?”

Yang’s eyes meet her own, and it’s like a gut punch. Her eyes are open and vulnerable, but they’re shining as bright as she’s ever seen them. “I like you.” She pulls on her hair and clears her throat. “That sounds so middle school. Sorry, nevermind, just forget.” Yang moves to leave the seat, but Blake’s hands are covering her own before she can think.

“I like you too,” she says, slowly. Her heart is racing, but she’s begging it to stop.

Yang smiles tightly. “Not the way I mean, though.?”

“What way do you mean?”

Yang runs her fingers through her hair, sighing. “Like, the way where I want to kiss you and take you on dates and all that mushy stuff. Like I said, you don’t mean it that way, and that’s totally okay! I just- I wanted you to know, because there’s never going to be a right time and maybe this is completely the wrong time but I can’t keep this in anymore.”

Blake breathes in sharply. Yang’s already shaking her head and moving to pull away again. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“I like you. That way. Too.” Her voice is halting, but the words come out, and she’s blushing like crazy. She clears her throat, averting her eyes. “I like you, Yang. And I want to kiss you, and take you on dates, and all that mushy stuff.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Blake, really, it’s okay-”

“I’m not lying!” she insists, cheeks red. She meets Yang’s gaze once more. “I like you.”

She leans in and gently presses her lips against Yang’s. Her lips are soft as flower petals, and she wants to be greedy and keep kissing her but she pulls away. Yang is frozen, and Blake is blushing, and they’re still holding hands.

And then Yang’s mouth is on hers again, still soft but with passion, and she can taste the coffee on her lips. Her hands break away from Yang’s, placing them on the table to steady herself.

They break apart, foreheads leaning into one another. “I have wanted to do that for so long,” Yang breathes, smiling.

Blake laughs, throwing her head back. “I was just about to say the same thing!”

“No, you weren’t!”

“Okay, I wasn’t.” But she smiles, and she can’t stop the way her lips curl up at the edges.

Yang’s eyes turn quiet, and she leans back down in her seat. “What does this mean?” she asks slowly.

“What do you want it to mean?” She hesitates before the words come spilling out of her mouth. “Because I want kissing, and dates, and all that mushy stuff. I want you, Yang.”

Yang’s lips quirk up. “I was just about to say the same thing.”

She smiles, and the world doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

* * *

Yang’s mouth is on hers, and she’s groaning into her lips, burying her hands in her hair. They don’t do this often, if ever. They don’t have time to revel in one another’s touch, but they steal snatches of time where they can, and it’s enough. Even if Blake feels desire pooling in her stomach and it’s wound tight as a spring, it’s enough, because any piece of Yang is more than enough. But getting Yang is funny, because the more she gets the more she wants her. She’s just as addicting as she ever was.

Yang’s hands are on her hips, and Blake is twirling her fingers into Yang’s hair. She’s the only one who gets to touch her hair, a fact she’s proud of. Yang trusts her.

They’re kissing, and Blake feels like she’s about to burst into flames, and she lowers her hands to Yang’s hips when Yang breaks it off, breath ragged. “We should stop,” she says, not making eye contact. Blake catches her breath and reaches for Yang’s hand.

“Why?” she asks. “Unless you want to. I’m good for cuddling.”

Yang averts her gaze, but squeezes her hand. “I just… I don’t want to pressure you, that’s all.”

“You’re not pressuring me, Yang. I’m pretty positive I was kissing you back.” She watches as Yang stiffens slightly, then sighs.

“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to go further. And I don’t want to push you to go further, so it’s better if we stop for now.”

“Oh.” She pauses. “What does that mean? Do you not want-”

Yang breaks away from her grip, letting her hands fall in her lap. “It doesn’t matter what I want, Blake. What matters is we go when you’re ready. And I really don’t want to push you-”

“You’re not pushing me! I want this just as much as you do.” She grabs Yang’s hands and looks her in the eyes. “I want you. And if you don’t want me, that’s okay, but don’t think for a second that I don’t want you.” Her breathing is ragged.

“Of course I want you, Blake. It is so hard to be with you and not want you,” Yang says, exasperated. “But I don’t want to freak you out, or make you do something you don’t want. I don’t want our first time to be because you’re neutral or unsure or don’t want it, and I need to know that you want it.”

“You’re trying to protect me,” she says softly. “But did it occur to you that I want to take things further?”

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts.” She squeezes her hands. “I know you’re trying to take care of me, but we protect each other. I don’t protect you, you don’t protect me. It’s a two way street. And this isn’t.”

“I just-” Yang breaks off with a sigh, running her hand through her hair. “I just want to make sure that it’s good for you. I don’t want to force you.”

The unspoken words drift between them, and suddenly Blake understands. “You are not Adam,” she says, voice hard. “You never could be.”

Yang doesn’t meet her gaze.

“What he did to me was wrong. You don’t have a bad bone in your body. You could never hurt me. I trust you, and I want to go further. If you do.” Blake gently tilts Yang’s chin up towards her, forcing her to meet her gaze. “I want this. I want you. You don’t need to protect me from you.”

She sees Yang’s throat bob as she swallows and nods. “But you have to tell me if it gets too much, or I do something wrong, or-”

“I will. If you do the same.” She smiles, gently hitting her shoulder. “Two way street.”

She watches as Yang takes a deep breath. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then. Let’s do it.”

Yang snorts, and the tension breaks. “I can’t believe you just said that!” Blake snickers, but Yang raises her eyebrows. “Get that from reading _Ninjas in Love_ , did you?”

Her cheeks flush, and she smacks Yang with the pillow. “How did you find that?”

“You weren’t exactly subtle. And I got bored one day, so I read it.” Blake’s eyes widen, and Yang chuckles. “They get up to some crazzzy stuff, Blake.” Her eyes flash. “But I bet we can get up to crazier.”

“Ugh, you’re worse than I am!” she cries, but Yang just laughs and kisses her neck. Blake hums, exposing her neck to allow her better access. Yang’s hands dance around her hips, and she grabs them and plants them against her waist.

She yanks off Yang’s jacket, and Yang helps her by shimmying out of it. Blake can’t hold in her laugh. Yang over-emphasizes her shoulder shake, batting her eyelashes at her. “Like what you see?”

She grins, but she can’t stop her blush. Her girlfriend is more well-endowed than she is, something she is definitely not complaining about. More often than she’d like to admit, she’d get distracted by Yang’s chest, which made her feel like a complete pervert, but Yang would always catch her staring and respond with a playful wink and shimmy.

Yang resumes her attack on her neck, and she can’t help but tilt her head back in pleasure. She’s aware of Yang pulling her own jacket off, fumbling with the plentiful zippers, but she prevails, and she’s left in her top. She’s breathing heavily, but she breaks Yang’s connection with her neck to slide off her top. She swallows, not looking Yang in the eyes.

It’s Yang’s turn to tilt her chin up, and she meets her partner’s eyes. “Hey,” she says, playfully tugging on Blake’s shortened hair. “You okay?” Her eyes are soft, and Blake melts beneath them.

“Yeah, it’s just weird. But a good weird!” she hurries to add at the concern in Yang’s eyes.

“We can still do a lot with your top on.”

“I’m fine. I promise.”

Yang nods, and then she pulls off her own top. Blake’s mouth goes dry at the sight of her soft and toned belly, not to mention her ribcage. She wants to put her hands around her ribs and hold her, skin to skin. Yang’s wearing a black bra, and she can’t help but sputter. “It’s only fair,” Yang says, smirking slightly at her reaction.

Blake pounces on her before she can think, but Yang’s ready for her and grabs her hands, pinning them to her sides. “Maybe I want to touch you some more.” Her voice is husky and goes straight to her groin.

“Touching goes both ways,” she says, voice weak. She lets herself fall backward, pulling Yang on top of her with a smile as she grabbed her waist. Blake can’t help the laugh that comes out of her at Yang’s pout. Her eyes are dark as she looks at her, mouth parted.

“Fair enough,” Yang breathes, and then her lips on hers, and she’s leaning into her body, arching off the bed as she straddles her. She runs her hands up Yang’s sides, reveling in the warmth of her skin. She always runs hot. Yang’s knees fall on either side of her hips, and she tightens them as she moves up Blake’s body. She can’t get enough of her kisses, and she’s glad she lives in a world where she can kiss her whenever she wants.

Yang’s lips push past her mouth and move up her face to gently kiss her forehead before slinking back down. She digs her fingers into the mattress as she moves her way down Blake’s throat, collarbones, sternum, kissing between her breasts and moving onto her belly. Her eyes flicker as she reaches Blake’s pants, but she still unbuttons her pants, helping her slide them off before folding them neatly and placing them on the nightstand.

“I love you,” she says before she can stop herself, but she realizes she doesn’t want to.

Yang pauses, and she worries she’s said it too soon when she bursts out into peals of laughter. “You say I love you because I fold your clothes?” she asks with a smile. “You’re crazy. Crazier than _Ninjas in Love_.” She winks, but her hand threads itself into Blake’s hair as her fingers brush against her cheek. “But I’m crazier, because I love you too.”

She pops back up for a chaste kiss, leaning their foreheads together as they break apart. “Ruby’s gonna kill me,” she says, and Yang’s nose wrinkles.

“First, don’t mention my sister when we’re half naked, and second, why?”

“I think she has a bet going with Weiss on which of us would say it first. She bet on you.”

“Well, I was planning on getting you flowers and all that sappy stuff and saying it in the next few days, but it appears you beat me to the punch.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve known for a while, but I wanted to do it right. But I think I like your version much better.” She kisses her forehead.

“I didn’t mean to ruin it, I just-”

“No, no! I love you, and I think it’s hilarious. This’ll be a story for the ages!”

“Maybe not about how we’re half naked?”

“Maybe. Speaking of…” Yang trails off, wiggling her eyebrows. “Can I keep kissing you?”

“Please do.”

And she happily obliges, kissing the inside of her thighs and gently nipping at the sensitive flesh. Blake’s hands knot themselves into Yang’s hair, and she arches off the mattress at the sensation. She can feel the heat of her breath against her wetness. She shivers. Yang hums, and she melts at the vibrations.

Yang slowly slides off her underwear, eyes never leaving her gaze. Her normally bright eyes are dark, and Blake’s heart is in her throat. Yang folds her underwear and places them on top of her pants, patting them gently. “Now I know what gets you going,” she teases, and Blake rolls her eyes.

Yang’s eyes drift down, and she resists the urge to close her legs as Yang looks at her. It’s so intimate, and it makes her toes curl. Yang reaches up and grabs Blake’s hand. “It’s just me.”

She nods, smiling. “I know.”

Still holding her hand and looking her in the eyes, Yang starts licking at her, her tongue probing and swirling, and Blake is arching off the mattress, holding her hand tight. Her head tilts back. “Yang,” she moans, turning pink.

“I’m here, baby, I’m here.” Yang licks up and down, and she feels like every nerve in her body is on fire. She starts playing with Yang’s hair with her free hand, and Yang squeezes her hand in encouragement.

Her fingers start probing in her, and Blake gasps at the sensation. They’re rubbing and circling all the right places, and she feels like she’s going to explode. “You’re going to kill me,” she says, flopping back onto the mattress.

“That’s the plan.” Her fingers curl inside her just right, and Blake is seeing stars and choking on air. “There you are.” Blake can’t help but roll her eyes at the smugness in her voice, but her knees are jelly, and her chest is heaving.

Yang crawls back up her body, wiping the back of her mouth before kissing Blake chastely. “Was that okay?” she asks.

“That was more than okay.” Yang snorts, but she’s smiling, and Blake’s smiling, and they’re both smiling and then they’re laughing. Blake flips Yang over as she’s laughing, hands pushing her shoulders into the mattress. “You know, it’s your turn now,” she says, mischievous.

Yang blushes. “You don’t have to, really. I’m good to cuddle now.”

“Yeah, but I want to thank you. For being such an amazing girlfriend and partner.”

Her eyes meet hers, and Blake nods slightly. Yang relaxes into her touch. “If you’re sure.”

“I haven’t been this sure of anything in a while.” She slinks down Yang’s body, and it’s her turn to help her out of her pants and underwear, both of which she folds as Yang giggles. “You’ll be happy when they’re not wrinkled!”

“I’m already happy,” she says, and Blake has no doubt she means it.

She takes a deep breath, and her tongue is digging into Yang, curling and twisting and licking. She doesn’t really know what she’s doing, but Yang is smiling, her chest red, and she’s letting out the tiniest little gasps that make Blake grin against her.

She notices when Yang lets out a sharp intake of breath, and she focuses her attention in on that spot, rubbing gently but constantly. They’re holding hands once more, and Yang’s grip is tightening the longer she rubs at that spot. Blake’s mouth moves away, kissing down her thigh as her fingers take over.

“Tease,” Yang breathes, hips moving to meet Blake’s hand.

“Sorry,” she says, but Yang smiles.

“It’s okay, I like it,” she replies, her face red.

Still, Blake resumes going at her with her tongue, and she doesn’t stop until Yang is clenching around her, shuddering above her. She wipes her face clean of Yang’s wetness before crawling back up and kissing her girlfriend’s forehead.

“Can we cuddle now?” Blake asks.

Yang’s arms are around her in the next second, Blake’s back to her chest. “Thought you’d never ask,” she murmurs into Blake’s hair. Her hand is on her hip, clutching it, and her other hand is still holding Blake’s.

“I didn’t think it could be that nice,” she says softly.

Yang squeezes her tight for a moment before releasing. “It should always be that nice, if not nicer.”

“I know.” Her breath catches. “Thank you, Yang.”

“Babe, you did all the hard work there.”

“No, thank you. For listening.” Yang snuggles closer into her neck, her face right next to Blake’s. “Of course.” Her fingers are tapping a rhythm on her hip, and Blake smiles.

“You know, we should probably shower soon.”

She feels Yang shrug against her. “Ten minutes.”

* * *

She’s twenty, and she loves Yang Xiao Long. Despite all the battles, despite the world doing its damndest to end, despite everything, Yang loves her back.

It’s not perfect, but it’s as close to it as she could ever imagine. There’s the matter of stopping Salem, and fighting the Grimm, and every other thing that will go wrong, but Yang holds her hand while she sleeps and wakes her up with kisses. Yang listens and laughs with her and loves her. It’s better than she deserves, even if Yang tells her otherwise.

Their lives are messy, and complicated, and dangerous. She’s terrified of losing not just Yang, but her team. But they’re all together, even if Weiss and Ruby complain about them getting the big bed and always touching.

She’s twenty, and she’s not alone.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed that and haven't read "Half Agony" yet, I would recommend doing so! They're sweeter together. Hope you enjoyed!


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